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Funny Stuff

Business talk and what it really means…

Business talk and what it really means…

Sales Talk

We offer a Bespoke Service = we are going to charge you double the norm
Drop me an email and I will take a look = Wants you off the phone, and will never read the email
Can I call you back = No they won’t
The ballpark figure is = It’s going to go up whatever I originally price / or I am pricing too high anyhow
I can’t really speak, I am actually just about to go into a meeting = No they are not
I am Specialist in my field = I have read the first chapter on the subject
Yes = Possibly
Maybe = Probably not
“No” = No!
We are happy to negotiate on price = We need your business

You are in a work Meeting….

You’re told “Good Idea, anyone else got any suggestions?” = They don’t like what you are saying
Let’s talk Figures = They are not happy
Let’s touch base on that later = Does not want to discuss it
It’s been an up and down year = All our heads are on the block
Right, Let’s get back on track = Shut up, stop talking
Talk of re-branding = Cut backs / it’s not working at the moment / job losses

On a CV

Good Communication Skills = Talks too much
Loves socialising = Will go missing on a Monday
Took a career break = Either quit / sacked / or left before they were pushed
I prefer to work on my own = Does not work well in a team
I usually worked long hours and did not mind staying late = No time management skills

Please add to the list by commenting below, get a few annoying work related sayings off your chest, you will feel better for it!

 Get in the spirit of business Jargon, check out this link to the Gobbledygook Generator found on the Plain English Campaign Website! Have fun!

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