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The Apprentice Week 3 – A View From The Cheese Shop

I could begin this with ‘It was a “saucy” episode, this week’; but no doubt the Daily Mail already nabbed that one. (Did they? I tend not to read tripe. They probably did though, with a picture of Karren smiling at Nick, or something.)

But I won’t start it like that.
3 weeks in and I learnt who Michael Copp is. His presence in the first 2 weeks was practically non existent. It was revealed however that he had been suffering from a gastric flu, which would explain things. Perhaps. But I liked him. He was a cockney Lhaandaanah from Lhaaandaan who built his business from nothing. I imagine there could have been a love affair developing throughout the series; but we’ll not get into that.

This week the two teams were tasked with producing a sauce… yes, a sauce.
Hardly the most intense task of the series thus far; but we must persevere throughout the pants episodes to build a picture of the candidates.

Sadly, for me mainly; the teams were ‘mixed up’. I’m still, however not going to refer to their ridiculous names for now. It’s still easier to say the girls and boys.  However, due to the switching of team members, I need to explain slightly.
Katie Wright, who narrowly escaped the delightful spin in a taxi last week has moved to the boys’ team, whilst Duane Bryan and Nick Holzherr moved the girls’ team. Got it? Yeah? Good.
So with that sorted; I’ll make it short and sweet.

The boys, headed up by Katie made table sauce; which looked like it was filtered through an animal then bottled inefficiently into glass bottles, and the girls’ team, with their leader being Duane; made chutney; which looked exactly like chutney.

The table sauce named ‘Belissimo’ (my spell check is having a fit; it’s a shame the same didn’t happen when they actually named their product) went down a storm, in Duane’s mouth, causing his head to explode. Then there was Adam exclaiming that making it was like boiling an omelette, which worried me slightly; considering I’ve never heard of someone boiling an omelette; but Adam has, and it was exactly like it. The only saving grace was Nick wearing a netted hat.

The team persevered though, sticking a beautifully designed label of a red pepper on a white background on the bottle. It would have went terribly well with the Tesco’s own Value Range, had they had just named it ‘Sauce’; which in all honesty, is a more apt name for what they actually produced.
InFusion, the chutney named after a gentleman’s shaving cream seemed to have everyone dancing around it (after it was finally made) , all claiming it was the best chutney since chutney began; even better than actual chutney that chutney makers make. They thought it so good, in fact, that they didn’t even need to take a sample to the potential buyers. Go team! *high five, and whatnot*.

In the end though, quite predictably; ‘Chutney’ was victorious, and ‘Sauce’ was defeated.
In the boardroom; Katie brought back Michael and Ricky; and the most amazing excuse fell out of Ricky Martins’ (HA) mouth about the quantities made in the production team ; it being ‘we weren’t told we had to make lots of it’.  And rightly so. I was watching the recent Bayern Munich vs Marseille match… Marseille didn’t realise they had to score lots of goals; so this is a viable excuse in my eyes.

Sadly, Michael was shown the door; but honestly, it should have been Ricky Martin in my opinion; only because I can’t realistically see Lord Sugs investing in someone called Ricky Martin; unless his business idea is a fast track deed poll system, which I doubt it is.

The only thing we really need to discuss in this whole matter of The Apprentice, however… and it’s not to do with the task, Lord Sugs or Michael the rejected…is….

Why does Stephen Brady’s suit look slippy?

Shiny Stephen.




  1. […] ‘Grandeur’, a French word. I double checked the spelling, after Slippery Stephen’s cock up in week three’s episode, and the misspelling of […]

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