Just like with the the ping pong a few weeks ago, the cameras again just happened to be rolling during the remaining candidates ‘fun time’ of playing the Wii, or xBox… or something.
And what a hoot it was; and a rare glimpse into what the candidates do when they’re not mouthing cliches and delivering high fives to the person next to them.
No, this was a relaxing afternoon (in front of cameras) playing on the wii (in front of cameras) and relaxing on the sofa with no shoes on (in front of cameras)
Nothing could spoil this fantastic utopia.
I half expected this to go on for the duration of the show; but what’s this??
A black Rolls pulls up outside the house? One moody looking Lord Sugar? Going into the house? A stunned bunch of business heads diving towards their suits? With the cameras rolling? I was NOT expecting that! What a build up!
Lord Sugar wanders into the lounge and quickly lays down the task. ‘This week, I’m sending you off on a journey…’ at this point, Stephen Brady’s eyebrows leapt off his forehead; and he’s quickly imagining taking his shiny suit for a spin around Budapest… Lord Sugar continues ‘to Scotland’ and Stephen’s eyebrows quickly peel themselves from the ceiling and back to his face.
The task was to sell high quality gourmet street food to the good folks of Edinburgh with Adam Corbally placed in charge of team Phoenix and Jenna Whittingham heading up Sterling.
Thankfully, no-one cracked a ‘Fried Mars Bar’ joke, as it’s sooo nineteen nin…; oh, Adam said it. Well done that man.
Adam carried on with remarks such as ‘no-one eats sushi’ and ‘it needs to be cheap’; finally settling on pasta and meatballs. Later to be dubbed ‘Utterly Delicious Meatballs’, the abbreviation ‘UDM’… therefore easily confused to the ‘Union of Democratic Mineworkers’. Didn’t think that one through, did we.
Over in Sterling, Jenna and the Scottish lassie, Laura took a much more traditional approach with Aberdeen Angus beef, haggis mash and the like. Quite a tasty sounding prospect, albeit a tad on the expensive side. Cleverly branded ‘The Gourmet Scot Pot’, abbreviated as ‘TGSP’, that too, could quite easily be confused for ‘Thames Gateway Strategic Partnership’… silly Sterling.
On the train up to Scotland’s Capital, there were discussions on both sides; with phrases like ‘target market’, ‘footfall’ and ‘consumers’ being effortlessly thrown about. Corporate speak… the bread and butter of two people in suits having a bit of a chat.
The clinker here was Katie Wright’s idea of selling pasta, which cost virtually nothing to produce, to revellers attending a football match at £5.99 (we’ll say £6, because that’s what we think when we see £5.99).
In sunny Scotland, the teams began. Katie dressed as a pizza to sell meatballs(?) and shiny Stephen wearing an Italian flag. Stephen had a genius idea (quickly followed with a solid delivery of high fives all round) of pitching on top of a tour bus, and the “pizza” convincing the tourists to hop off, eat a meatball and then wait 15 minutes for another bus to pick them up again. Surprisingly, none of the tourists got off the bus! Why?? Weren’t they listening to the pizza?? Then of course, £6 for meatballs is nowhere near enough to flog at football goers. Katie quickly attempted to increase the price to £7.99 (£8 to you and I), with Adam quickly quashing the thought of doing so by stating he’d ‘get his head kicked in’
I really think they should have put the prices up.
(For a higher profit margin!)
They quickly moved about here and there and seemed to be shifting meatballs after a slow start. This could all be coming up good for Corbally.
Meanwhile, Ricky Martin blew Jenna’s mind away by adding together 200 and 68.82 together in his head. ‘Where do his talents end!?’ Jenna no doubt thought. I must say, joking aside, after a few drawbacks here and there, the Scot Pot looked decent; and the high quality ingredients seemed to be pulling in the crowds. Jenna shouting “Come ova ere’ an’ smell me casserole” was a bit off putting; but it seemed to pay off. People came, they smelt and they bought.
They even tempted a traditional bagpiper to play beside the stall; and Laura had a bit of a dance.
As always, frightfully clever editing led us to believe that the Utterly Delicious Meatballs were the ones to beat; with the lots of people queuing up last minute to get a tasty meatball and copious amounts of high fives being thrown around.
Back to the boardroom for the outcome.
Adam, cracking his knuckles to get down to business was sure this was in the bag.
But wait! Shock horror and what a twist! The BBC’s editing skills have once again come up trumps, as Phoenix lose!
A delighted team Sterling were treated to go for a spin around on a Segway; which is a bit like being treated to go for a bit of a walk. But the real prize is; not facing Lord Sugar; and sadly, this wasn’t such a luxury for Phoenix.
In there, Stephen quickly passed blame over to anybody within a one foot radius of him; mainly to Azhar Siddique (remember him?) for not really doing much throughout the task.
Adam, quickly picking up on this, jumped on that wagon, blaming Azhar more for the failure of the task than blaming Stephen for promising a million and seven tourists from a series of tour buses.
Azhar fought his corner well; and Stephen slipped and slid his way out of answering a few ‘challenging’ questions (this is where the shiny suit becomes handy)
The chosen two that Adam brought in were Katie and Step… no, sorry… Azhar.
After roundly grilling Adam for being a bit rubbish, and saying to Azhar that he needs to see more of him; it’s Katie who was shown the door.
It’s a shame, as in my opinion, Adam mismanaged that team, and passed the blame a bit too much, and listened to Stephen, a fatal error.
But, we’ll see how things pan out next week.
The candidates might be allowed to use the internet on their phones as a treat.